Is it ok to... lash out when you're angry?

The red mist, the inner beast, the spark of rage that ignites inside when someone pushes your buttons – everyone experiences it at some time or other. But what happens when that simmering fury becomes full-blown aggression? From shouting and swearing to acts of physical violence, the results are never pretty when you lose control.

In our featured clip from Educating Yorkshire, the usually placid Jac-Henry must complete an anger management course having lashed out in response to teasing. Want to catch more drama from the school corridors? Watch the whole of 'Educating Yorkshire' for free on All 4.

Temper, Temper

What causes you to unleash your hidden Hulk and how can you learn to control it?

Recognising the signs

In itself, anger is nothing to worry about. However, if these feelings begin to get out of control and start to affect your everyday life, it may be time to worry. Sometimes just recognising what makes you angry can be enough to help. For a start, you can look out for the following warning signs that you’re about to blow your top so you can take evasive measures:

• A sudden rush of adrenaline.
• Rapid breathing.
• Your heart rate increasing.
• Clenched fists and tensed muscles.

Figure out your triggers

It can help to jot down the things that make you angry to see if any patterns emerge. Again, if you can figure out the things that push your buttons, you might be able to avoid your rage before it erupts. Note down the circumstances that have sparked your anger in the past. Where were you? Who were you with? What was said and how did you retaliate?

Don’t bottle it up

Burying your emotions and keeping you mouth shut seem like sensible ways to avoid getting angry, right? Wrong. It’s far healthier to speak out, stand up for yourself and let other people know your feelings before you get to boiling point. Being assertive and getting your point across calmly can help you diffuse problems early and avoid major blow-ups later on.

Coping strategies

If you feel the red mist descending, there are lots of things you can do to try and combat it. Breathing deeply whilst counting to 10 can help reduce your anger. Also literally stepping back and removing yourself from the source of conflict can help to stop you lashing out. Punching soft things like pillows or cushions can help you release some of the rage without hurting yourself (or others). Exercising can be another great way to help you combat feelings of anger as it channels your tension positively and helps you to regain some calm. Also, doing something creative can also be a positive outlet for pent-up emotions.

Seeking help

If you’re worried that your anger is truly out of control you should talk to someone – your doctor or a counsellor for example. It is really important to get support if you feel you need it as, left unchecked, anger can lead to more severe problems such as depression, addiction or self harm. Check out the links below for places to seek support and information.